Things I’m tired of at the moment…

1. Cats, and the internet/general public’s infatuation with them.

2. Pretentious baby names.

3. Mumford and Sons

4. Tough Mudder, Ironman, and any other self-absored, fad fitness gauntlets

Randy shooting for the moon again at Lambeau this Sunday. Straight cash homie.

Randy shooting for the moon again at Lambeau this Sunday. Straight cash homie.

Politics- A prime source of anger and apathy

I just realized that in about 7 months time, every Tom, Dick and Harry will be buzzing about the upcoming election.  Nothing turns my stomach more than a bunch of people spewing political bullshit.

There’s two groups when it comes to this:

1.  The ones that truly don’t know anything about politics but act like they do every four years.

2.  The ones that still don’t know anything about politics, but “follow” daily/weekly thanks to biased media sources (that they swear are unbiased) and the Daily Show.

Let’s face it.  NONE OF US KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HOW SHIT REALLY GOES DOWN.  It’s that simple.  Some may think they do and claim that they get information from unbiased sources, but those don’t exist.  Every outlet puts a spin on something one way or another and furthermore, those outlets don’t even know what truly goes on.  They only know what they’re told or what they hear. 

The last election was truly a spectacle.  Men and women that couldn’t place in a 2nd grade spelling bee and spend their weekends expelling Natural Light-induced vomit into dormitory toilets parading around campaigning for Obama while blasting Lady Gaga through their headphones, regurgitating all of his “Change” horseshit every chance they get and relishing the opportunity to get into an empty-headed, heated debate with some right-wing idiot that doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about either.

As George Carlin once said, “it’s all bullshit and it’s bad for ya.” The bottom line is this: No one knows what they’re talking about when it comes to politics, politicians included.  It’s one big game of gossip on an national level and nothing ever gets accomplished in the long run anyways. Both sides of the political sphere suck and it gets exhausting to listen to them.  Especially when, despite popular belief, your vote doesn’t amount to jack squat. That’s it for today. Be sure to get out there and vote come Novermber everybody!

And my girlfriend wonders why I don’t like to go to the movies anymore.

(via cracked)

Douche.0

Upon looking up the word “tosh” in the dictionary, one finds the definition to be “sheer nonsense, rubbish.”

Which is a perfect lead-in to Daniel Tosh AKA “Tosh.0”.  My hatred for the likes of Bono, the rest of U2, and Jon Stewart is well documented verbally (and will soon reach the likes of this blog), but this guy is really making a case for himself to be included at the top of that list. I literally can’t stand the sight of his stupid face.  Maybe it’s because he got his start making corny ass Taco Bell commercials:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48tWpzcpKac

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YVc9r5I4Qo&feature=related

Maybe it’s because he should go back to making those commercials. 

More than likely, it’s because he sucks and is completely unfunny. 

Firstly, all he does is stand in front of a green screen and comment on internet videos.  I can do that by myself, and do it much better.

Secondly, his comments don’t enhance the humor, they detract from it.  If I even find myself starting to laugh at the video itself, laughter quickly turns to scowling once he opens his mouth with a super-cheese, follow-up critique that starts off something like “Ok DeNiro, lay off the tough guy talk.” (Insert audience laugh track here)

He’s the kid in high school that a bunch of people (mostly girls) thought was funny, but a smart, select group of people couldn’t stand.  Tries way too damn hard.

Then you can talk about how he acts like a big-time fruit and his supporters will say “Oh, he always makes fun of himself.  That’s part of why he’s so funny, he knows he acts gay!”  That’s not funny, that’s pathetic…and an easy out.  It’s like the Jewish guy that makes fun of Jews.  Too easy, too unoriginal. 

He also goes for the easy out by making controversial jokes just for the sake of making them.  He uses any racial, sexual stereotype he can so people will go “Wow, I can’t believe he said that!  Look how edgy he is!  He doesn’t care!”

What’s more shocking is that many friends of mine find him to be hysterical.  I just couldn’t seem to wrap my head around it, so I watched his show a couple times to find out what I was missing.  After watching, I found out what I was missing: a small piece of my soul, which I can never have back.

Get bent Tosh.  Go back to peddling gorditas you tool.

It’s Friday!  Let’s drop the hate for a day (actually, a whole day seems excessive, let’s limit it to a few hours) and celebrate the weekend. 

It’s virtually impossible to be hateful whilst listening to this 80’s gem. 

Anonymous said: The "baby on board" signs and the bumper stickers that say "Drive carefully this is my grandma/grandpa"--

ABSOLUTELY.  It’s like “Well, I was going to t-bone your Buick Century at that last intersection, but then I noticed you’re the proud grandparent of a Lakeview Elementary School graduate and decided against it”.  No one cares who’s in your car.  If anything, it has the opposite effect and makes me want to drive recklessly around them all the more.

Great contribution! Keep that anger flowing!

John would later go on to continue not finding success with movies such as Michael, Battlefield Earth, Look Who’s Talking 14 and the masterful Phenomenon

John would later go on to continue not finding success with movies such as Michael, Battlefield Earth, Look Who’s Talking 14 and the masterful Phenomenon

(via cracked)

Tits in the attic

Tits in the attic

The infamous “Family Bicycle Ride”

Ah, nothing gets my blood boiling like an obnoxious family bicycle ride (especially when equipped with helmet-wearing and hand-signaling).  Now even a blackhearted individual such as myself understands that kids need helmets (even though I refused to wear my neon yellow one as a child), but please tell me why a grown man and his wife are sporting headgear.  At 40 years old, you’re not confident that you can ride a bicycle without falling off?  And don’t give me the “what if a car hits you” excuse either. If you get hit by a car, you can be damn sure that condom cap on your head isn’t going to do jack squat. It will, however, make you look like a huge douchebag when the CSI team rolls up to your carcass.  It’ll be a shame too, because then no one gets ice cream after a nice family dinner at The Cheesecake Factory.